My wife frequently hosts her friends over at the house. One guarantee is that we will serve a lot of wine. It is also certain that I will drink quite a bit while this is going on. “As fixed as the northern star,” someone will say something that I will be compelled to respond to at great length. This is what I have been calling a “chimp out.” This has happened so many times that it’s a matter of when, not a matter of if. At this point, some of them probably show up for it.
The first time this happened, my wife was speaking to some women at about my men’s group and how women are excluded. This has led to quite a few feminist-type women getting quite irritated. “Why would you exclude women?” they would ask, and I would calmly respond that the presence of women in male spaces leads to sexual competition, schoolmarm censorship, or otherwise make it about themselves. Women like this never expect an answer, they are counting on you being browbeaten into submission. At the end of the day, they didn’t get the answer they wanted, got upset, and left. I found it quite humorous so I started doing it more often on a wide range of topics.
We must never forget that a powerful orator can defeat tyrants, as Cicero praises Demosthenes in On the Orator. It is an art that can be used to quite literally cast a spell over people. Properly practiced, you can convince people of anything. “The gift of the gab” they call it — which is being forceful, fluent, elegant, and persuasive. How does one practice these skills? What makes a good “chimp out” without being ran out of the room by an angry mob?
Upon a digestion of Cicero’s On the Orator and Aristotle’s Rhetoric, I recommend employing the following:
-Breadth of knowledge
You need to be able to draw from a wide variety of sources and references, including from popular culture from time to time by which you can be relatable. You must assess your audience and apply metaphors to “bestow verbal beauty.” (Rhetoric, III.2-6). Consider yourself painting with words.
-Varied tones and speech volumes
Your speech needs to breathe. Your timbre can accent key points or draw emotional investment into what you are saying. Emotions cause men to change their opinions and judgments (pathos - Rhetoric, II.1.2-3). You are conducting a symphony.
-Use smooth, controlled gestures
Do not be a spaz, but also don’t be a statue. Utilize orator’s gestures - chironomia - for dramatic effect if you don’t know what to do with your hands. In antiquity, hand gestures conveyed certain meanings and allows for motion without distraction. Pay attention to your posture and do not put your hands in your pockets.
-Periodic eye contact with proper timing
It’s fine to look away during moments of recall but during delivery you must be making eye contact with individuals in your audience.
-Avoid filler words (um, uh, like)
Be able to speak from memory without stammering or making noises. You must have mastery!
-Use silence. It has its purpose.
-Speak plainly and clearly
Call things by their specific names and avoid words with ambiguous meanings. Know when to be concise and when to be expansive. Most importantly, do not complicate your language using words that can distract from your overall message.
-The ability to not be a “sperg”
This is not the time to autistically spout crime statistics. Find a better way to achieve what you want to say. “Don’t be weird” is a golden rule. There is a time and a place for that. In the company of normal people or a hostile audience, an even keel is important.
-Remain focused
Finish your thought and do not allow yourself to be interrupted. This is a key weapon of the intellectually malformed. Your enemy is not interested in debate to find the Truth. They are simply searching like a rat for little holes to trip you up and distract you and the audience from delivery and ultimately the reception of your argument. Remember: exceptions do not invalidate the rule. This has been the case for thousands of years.
You can say anything you want as long as you are successful at maintaining:
-audience goodwill
-character of argument
-that your positions are correct
-that your opponents are wrong
-clear delivery of your conclusions
Rhetoric, along with grammar and logic, are the liberal arts. Someone with extensive “liberal arts” knowledge and good oracular skills can appear, and often is, more knowledgable than ‘experts’ themselves. Why do you think credentialed liberals are getting constantly blown out by 500 follower Twitter anons?
In conclusion, you can speak on whatever you want, to whoever you want, as long as you’re not weird about it. You must chimp!
Βρεκεκέξ κοάξ κοάξ
Recommended Reading:
Cicero, On the Orator
Aristotle, Rhetoric
I can’t prove it but I know Cicero would be proud every time someone intelligently chimps out to a group of women